Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Let's Talk Sex

Let us talk about sex in a way that you will not hear in most churches or some homes. Sex is not dirty when done in a way to give God glory and thanksgiving for a most precious gift. Most churches and ministers are not prepared to share with you straight sex talk and in the same breathe show you in the Bible where it is crossed referenced. We are not here to bash ministers because I am one, but we are going to cover sex from A to Z in the Bible and out of the Bible.

If you are a Christian, you have been expecting your minister to follow the instruction given by the Apostle Paul in Ephesians 4th chapter. The Apostle Paul instructs those called to teach the body of Christ to “equip” the saints. Are you equipped with an informed understanding of sex in the church and out of it? Since we are tripartite being consisting of body, soul and spirit, it is most important for the body to know its full function in an era where most emphasis by Christian teachers relates to the spirit. It is time that you be equipped with more than a working knowledge of money, why not be exposed to what so many are looking for on the internet and in empty relationships – love.

Recently in a conversation with a minister over 50 it was disclosed that he was elated to know he would be able if his wife agreed to it, to enjoy sex even in his 60’s, 70’s and 80’s if they maintain their health. So many people seem to think that sex stops when you turn 55 or 60. For some unhealthy reason some who are avid Christians are under the impression that if they are not having sex to produce an offspring they should not have sex. Wow. Chronological age does not stop you, but rather your mental attitude.

Are you living a healthy life now, so when you come to the age of retirement you will be able to enjoy all aspects of life, including sex? Yes, Christians like anybody else should enjoy sex after they bear children. As we see from the Bible most people, including priest married and lived long healthy lives. The reason Jesus did not marry allowed him to be an unblemished sacrifice for the world. The lie that some religions tell that they are not marrying as priest is deception to make the world think they are holy because they are not married.

We will talk in more detail about what the Bible has to say about sexual relations, however, for now let’s say it is very healthy to have sexual relations when you are married, otherwise abstinence is the way to go.

Why do some married couples when they feel they have enough children decide that they should have an abortion instead of giving the child that God blessed them with up for adoption?

Abortion in America illustrates to the world how some Americans feel about the gift of life. It is interesting that Abortion and Abstinence both start with the letter “A”. Is there a link between the two words other than the actions taken by the individual? Abortion is the easy way out of the situation of unwanted pregnancy. Arjeana will discuss abortion in a future article.

Marriage and divorce statistics cause many to wonder if the institution that God created will survive – yes it will. The people who are making those accusations operate without knowledge God’s provision for humankind. For those who believe the Bible, God established marriage in the book of Genesis and it will remain one of God’s established institutions until Jesus returns for his bride. Premarital counseling needs to be stringent for couples before they marry that will provide better preparation for marriage. Too many people enter into marriage immature and unprepared for some of life’s basic challenges.

As this newsletter develops over time, we will discuss the following topics:

· Abortion

· Abstinence

· Abusers

· Adultery

· Ahab

· Anal Sex

· And more

· Arousal

· Asexuality

· Bisexuality

· Coitus

· Concubine

· Cross-dressing

· Deception

· Effeminate

· Eunuchs

· Excitement

· Exhibitionism

· Fetish

· Fornication

· Harlots

· Homosexuality

· Idolatry

· Incest

· Jezebel

· Lasciviousness

· Lesbianism

· Lingerie

· Lovers

· Lust

· Lust of the eye

· Lust of the flesh

· Lying

· Marriage

· Masochism

· Masturbation

· Mixed marriages

· Molestation

· Murder

· Neighbor’s Wife

· Oral Sex

· Panties

· Penis

· Perpetrator

· Plan

· Plot

· Pornography

· Pride of Life

· Rape

· Sade-Masochism

· Sensuality

· Sexual Abuse

· Sexual Perversion

· Sexual Pleasure

· Short Skirts

· Sodomy

· The Devil in a red dress

· Transgender

· Transsexual

· Transvestite

· Triggers

· Uncleanness

· Vagina

· Voyeurism

· Weight due to lack of sex

· Witchcraft

Listed above are words that represent possible titles for dissertations, white papers, long and short articles. Over time as we, build momentum for the actual published book the plan is to cover the above topics.

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Background

When I was four years old, my thirteen-year-old brother raped me. My older sister and her friends treated me as their “doll,” dressing me in girl’s clothing. My father, a pastor, sexually molested me.

This upbringing led me to a life of sexual deviancy in which I was sometimes the victim and sometimes the perpetrator, to the point that I described myself as a “sex machine.” Through the intervention of God, I have been delivered from this cycle and cleansed, freed to live the victorious Christian life.

Purpose of This Book

Sexual sin is rampant in the church. Stories of moral failures by men and women in church leadership roles have become commonplace. In the pew, too, sexual immorality and incest are more widespread than anyone knows—except those involved.

So long as these sins are allowed to remain in the shadows, they have power. They must be exposed, and the people affected by them must have help finding the recovery they so desperately need.

Don’t Say a Word about This! is designed to lead the church to find the truth and healing in Christ, which will set them free from the blight of sexual sin committed by Christians.

It is my conviction that every person has a right to live life from babyhood to adult life without any form of abuse. I believe that every person who did not have the opportunity to live from babyhood to adult life without abuse is entitled to healing, deliverance, and a second chance to live life.

Sources

The content of Don’t Say a Word about This! is drawn from my life, the Bible, a wide range of secular books dealing with human behavior, and films that address human pain and suffering.

My Story

My father was a pastor and part-time handyman at women’s’ clothing stores. Most of the time my brother and sister and I were left on our own since my brother was nine years older than I and my sister was eighteen years my senior. A lack of supervision, combined with my father’s sexual perversions and my mother’s continuing love for a man she married who had turned into a secret monster contributed to my exposure to sexual matters at such a young age.

For the first few years of my life my sister, eighteen years my elder, dressed me in little girl’s clothes and made me her personal doll. When I was four, my thirteen-year-old brother raped me. Dad often took me to work with him at the women’s clothing stores and while he worked, I would masturbate with the mannequins.

What does a young boy do when in the first ten years of his life he experiences rape and incest, is treated as a girl, and learns to masturbate in lingerie with an older neighborhood boy? He goes to a dark place in his soul.

At age eleven I became not the victim but the perpetrator. I molested one boy from my neighborhood and two boys who were members of my father’s church—usually in the church building or at church functions.

As I grew into my teens I was involved in many other sexual encounters with church musicians (male and female), and I had other sexual escapades at church meetings.

When I was eighteen I got married, thinking my sexual behavior would change. The marriage lasted twenty-four years but not because of my fidelity. I was faithful to my wife for only five years before the cycle began again.

In college, though I was married, my time was filled with the constant search for excitement and sexual release through:

  • Marijuana, cocaine, crack, crank, speed, and other drugs I cannot remember
  • Homosexual and bisexual acts
  • Threesomes
  • Voyeurism
  • Exhibitionism
  • Phone Sex
  • Transvestism
  • Pornography
  • Lingerie Fetish
  • Oral Sex

By the time I was 30 I had had sex with more than one hundred women. I was a sex machine.

After college, I appeared to have a model life. I worked as an analyst for Fortune five hundred companies, I had a wife and son, and I was developing my own private tax practice. However, my personal life centered around one promiscuous affair after another.

I wasn’t living the Christian life by any stretch of the imagination at this point, but still something (Holy Spirit) prevented me from molesting my son, though my father had molested me and this is how the cycle is continued. God was intervening in my life, and in my son’s life, though I certainly wasn’t walking with Him then.

But His interventions were just beginning. He allowed me to be involved in a major auto accident in which four other cars ran into mine. I survived the accident, but was left with a recurring nightmare that eventually drove me to seek therapy.

I started therapy to stop the nightmares but before long I had spilled my guts about my sexual escapades. With the help of the psychiatrist and the Holy Spirit I was able to begin the healing and deliverance from my childhood sexual abuse.

It turned out I had repressed much of the detail of what happened to me as a child. Over a time, together with prayer and fasting, I began to hear from the Holy Spirit about how to proceed and get my healing.

I have been writing the manuscript for Don’t Say a Word about This! for over ten years. During that time many obstacles attempted to sidetrack me. One of those was how my brother, who physically raped me when I was 4, attempted to financially rape me 50 years later.

My father died a few years ago. After he passed, my brother sued several of the businesses that had cared for my father, alleging neglectful service. In order to retain the bulk of the award money, he and my half-sister told these businesses that I had died. By the grace of God I have been able to forgive my brother for both rapes.